Is All This Struggle Worth it?

She locked the church door and jiggled the knob. Her car was the only one left in the parking lot, and Taneka was taking the speaker to the airport. Tired fingers dropped the key into her new summer purse. Memories of the tender hugs that accompanied all the goodbyes warmed her heart as she walked to her blue Toyota hybrid.

Once in the gray cloth seat, Beth paused. “Lord, it all seemed to go well. Thank you for keeping everything on track in spite of that major disruption.” She dropped her hands from the wheel to her lap.

“Now I need you to help me figure out what’s going on with Ruth. Her outburst was totally out of character. Her words stung, and I’m sure you noticed the shock on the faces of those who heard her.”

 

She realized her response in the moment to address the older woman’s concerns was more second nature than felt kindness. The confrontation itself was easier to handle than all the little upsets that occurred throughout the planning and preparation. A deep breath poured from her lungs as she pulled the lanyard out of her jacket pocket. Keys slid into ignitions so easily. Her years of ministry played across her mind.

“I have to tell you, Lord. As much as I appreciate being able to serve you and the women you send my way, I’m feeling a bit tired. I know the message this weekend was sound and what we all need to hear, but I’m not sure what I got out of this gathering. Is my effort worth so much struggle?”

She put her head back and relaxed, as if into the arms of her Savior. “But you know me, Jesus. When you and I are making our way through these stretching seasons, I feel closer to you than I can express.” Her eyes narrowed. “Hmm, could that be one of the reasons for them?”

A smile of knowing relief captured her countenance as she reached over and started the engine. “You’re so sweet, Lord. Thank You for reminding me I’m forever safe in your loving and powerful grasp.”

My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me; and I give eternal life to them, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of my hand (John 10:27-18 NASB).

When was the last time you felt worn out and overdone?

I’d love to hear how God met your need once you turned to Him.

About the Author:

Sandra Allen Lovelace is a continuing missionary, a pastor’s wife emeritus, and a homeschool pioneer. She’s an award-winning speaker and author, and a faithful encourager. Sandra’s a member of Advanced Writers and Speakers Association, and an Agented Author at Credo Communications. Her current manuscript addresses the topic of Wallflower Women. She enjoys hiking with a camera in her hand, best done on an international adventure. Sandra and her husband Curt are transitioning to South Carolina.

Get to know Sandra at her website, http://sandraallenlovelace.com/

You can also connect with Sandra on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and LinkedIn.

Delight Your Soul Today

Alyssa balled up the empty grocery bags and stuffed them through the swinging cover of the red wastebasket. She plopped into the captain’s chair at the head of her kitchen table. The plaid cushion absorbed the assault. Head tipped back, a groan escaped.

She pulled the paperback Bible to her and opened the concordance. Her friend’s words led her search until she found the reference, Psalm 37:4. Delight yourself in the LORD; and He will give you the desires of your heart.* Her back rounded into the chair rungs. “Could I be wrong?” she whispered as she reviewed their conversation.

Gayle had challenged her to rethink her relationship with God as more than a barter system—if you want what you want, be happy in Jesus. Gayle pointed out that David’s opening words said not to fret and offered instructions on how to avoid worry and envy. He directed God’s people to delight, fill up with great pleasure and joy, in our God if we want to conquer anxiety.

Alyssa wondered how to pull off delight on demand. How was she supposed to be cheery, never mind full of delight, when situational and emotional storm fronts drifted across her path?

Gayle suggested she wrap herself in worship, go to the LORD in humble reverence. She said when she united her heart with Him, His presence brought gladness, contentment, peace, and fulfillment every time. Then she shared two types of worship experiences she practiced to maintain the joy of the LORD that was her strength.**

Worship with Others

The corporate worship setting is a glorious opportunity to come before God with our brothers and sisters. To join our hearts and minds, spirits and voices in reverence and exultation for who He is and all He’s done. We grow together as a community through the proclamation of His Word and fellowship around His table.

But she said sometimes, a steady diet of only group interactions, though they’re rich and full, can weaken our individual connection with God. Even a banquet can become unhealthy, if we indulge at every meal. Right?

Worship by Ourselves

Whether with a Bible and cup of tea in a cozy chair or hiking boots and a backpack on a mountain trail, the times we meet with God on our own feed us in a different sense. We’re able to concentrate on who our Father is and how He sees us personally. His individual attention and our intimate responses blossom in this unique interaction.  

Gayle explained it was tempting to substitute alone time for meeting together. And yet, the Father warns us about that habit.*** The trick is to find the balance. For most of us, the corporate experience is set in a once a week routine. It’s the one-on-one delighting we miss—extended, focused, intentional worship … an oversight easy to remedy.

Have you soaked in the delight of the LORD lately?

If not, purpose and plan to do so. He’s missing you.

*NASB

**Nehemiah 8:10

***Hebrews 10:25

About the Author: 

Sandra Allen Lovelace is a continuing missionary, a pastor’s wife emeritus, and a homeschool pioneer. She’s an award-winning speaker and author, and a sought-after mentor. Sandra’s a member of Advanced Writers and Speakers Association, and her current manuscript is Wallflower Women: How to Start Living the Life God Designed You For. She enjoys hiking with a camera in her hand, best done on an international adventure. Sandra and her husband Curt are transitioning to South Carolina.

Get to know Sandra at her website, http://sandraallenlovelace.com/

You can also connect with Sandra on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and LinkedIn.

Enter the New Year Like a Queen

On the third day Esther put on her royal robes and stood in the inner court of the palace,

 in front of the king’s hall. The king was sitting on his royal throne in the hall, facing the entrance.* 

The orphan promoted to queen needed to speak with her husband, but she hadn’t heard from him for a month. King Xerxes’ law required the execution of anyone who appeared in his presence unbidden. Without an invitation, she was risking her life.

Since she was a daughter of Eve as we are, Esther likely carried some level of unease. Perhaps she dressed in a queenly outfit to remind Xerxes of her status or catch his masculine eye. We don’t know. What we do know is that, in spite of any hesitation or anxiety, Esther stood on the threshold of her destiny whatever it held.

Have you ever felt that way? As if you were standing on the edge of an unknown and uncertain future? Maybe, like me, you wonder where Esther found her courage.

She’d reached out to meet a simple need. The recipient, a trusted confidant, alerted her of a grave threat with instructions to take it to the king. When she explained her personal risk, he pointed out the responsibility of her position with a warning for her to act.

Her response was to call for three days of fasting and prayer among her closest supporters. In that intimate communion with her Faithful Provider and Guide, her security in His hands undoubtedly grew. The resulting confidence bore her to that dangerous doorway.

Xerxes saw her, and his extended scepter expressed his pleasure. The death threat cancelled, Esther touched the symbol of forgiveness, and stepped into her future. She advanced slowly, with purpose, into the role designed for her, for such a time as this.**

  

We can walk the path before us with the same confidence and courage.

1) Consider circumstances with prudence: sift human interpretation, your own as well as others, and resist outside pressure.

2) Meet with God in communion: welcome His presence, share details of the situation and your reaction, and ask for guidance.

3) Rest in His provision: accept His direction, pursue His plan by His grace, and trust His timing.

Similar to Esther, those who’ve received the offer of forgiveness from our King are released to pursue His purpose for our lives. We stand on the threshold of a new year with unknown twists, turns, and trials—an excellent opportunity to apply her approach. We may not save a nation from destruction or have a holiday established to honor our achievements. But we can step into our destiny with confidence and courage based on who God is and our relationship with Him as His children.

What uncertainties make you blink as you enter 2018?

How do they compare with the nature and character of God?

*Esther 5:1 NIV

**Esther 4:14 NIV

Brief Bio

Sandra Allen Lovelace is a continuing missionary, a pastor’s wife emeritus, and a homeschool pioneer. She’s an award-winning speaker and author, and a sought-after mentor. Sandra’s a member of Advanced Writers and Speakers Association, and her current manuscript is Wallflower Women: How We Got Stuck and Ways to Gain Our Freedom. She enjoys hiking with a camera in her hand, best done on an international adventure. Sandra and her husband Curt are transitioning to South Carolina.

Get to know Sandra at her website, http://sandraallenlovelace.com/

You can also connect with Sandra on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and LinkedIn.

Christmas Survival Skills

The countdown is on. Does the date pop into your head as soon as you wake up? Or only when you look at your To-Do List?

Bowls of dough and trays of cookies surrounded Trish when her iPhone rang. She wiped her hands on the red-checked towel and pressed Accept. Two sentences in, her mother’s sweet voice suggested her cousin Sue and her kids join them for Christmas. “It’s only been a month since Joe abandoned them. They must be struggling.”

Mom said she and dad would pitch in all they could, but Sue lived hours away. Coming for the whole weekend made the most sense. Yes. It made sense. Was something Trish might have thought of on her own . . . if she had a moment to think.

She heard herself say, “Of course. I’ll call her right away.” Her thumb poked the S in Contacts then chose Home. Peter, Sue’s oldest, answered. Trish felt hollow when she asked for his mom.

“Hello?” Sue sounded frail.

“Hi, Sue. It’s me, Trish. How are you?” Her mind snapped back into place.

Photo by Sandra Allen Lovelace

The cousins chatted for a few moments before she offered an invitation for Sue and her three children to join them for the holiday. Sue hesitated. Trish described cozy pajama times with young ones around the tree, fortified by hot chocolate and hymns. “You would bless us if you come,” did the trick.

She placed her cell phone on the granite counter top as her mind threatened to collapse. On top of preparing for the traditional visits from her parents, her brother and his family, not to mention her two returning college kids, she had no idea how she’d survive. What did I just do? How could I let my mother talk me into this?

She caught the bad attitude. Holy Spirit alerted her exactly as she’d been asking Him to. She went to the blue wingback by the picture window, her devo chair. Grabbing her Bible off the side table, she settled back and opened to the next chapter in her reading plan, Isaiah 63.

Her mind raced over the endless tasks ahead as her eyes flowed across verses 1 to 8. The word distress caught her attention. She placed her finger on verse 9 to steady her thoughts.

In all their distress he [the LORD] too was distressed,

She paused to soak in the idea of God sharing her panic.

and the angel of his presence saved them.

God joins His chosen ones to rescue us.

In his love and mercy he redeemed them;

            Deliverance is based on His character, not our efforts.

he lifted them up and carried them all the days of old (Isaiah 63:9).*

            Trish relaxed into God’s presence and provision.

How about you? Has your holiday pace hit the fever pitch?

Relief is as close as prayer and an attitude change based on Biblical Truth.

The LORD replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest (Exodus 33:14).*

*NIV

Brief Bio

Sandra Allen Lovelace is a continuing missionary, a pastor’s wife emeritus, and a homeschool pioneer. She’s an award-winning speaker and author, and a sought-after mentor. Sandra’s a member of Advanced Writers and Speakers, and has two manuscripts underway, Wallflower Women and Naomi. She enjoys hiking with a camera in her hand, best done on an international adventure. Sandra and her husband Curt are transitioning to South Carolina.

Get to know Sandra at her website, http://sandraallenlovelace.com/

You can also connect with Sandra on Facebook. If you contact her at Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, or Google+  she’ll be delighted by a reason to practice.

Who Comes First?

Joan rested her hands in her lap, crossed and uncrossed her ankles. The entire week was filled with activities again. It had been months since she enjoyed even an afternoon to herself. As for family and friends, it would take a shoehorn to wedge in quality time with them.

And here she sat wasting time at the doctor’s office for a follow up to an annual physical.

“Joan Phillips?” The nurse’s voice was tight.

Joan rose and followed the perky blonde down the blue-carpeted hallway. The casual pace and chitchat made her wonder if she’d be on time for Bible study. Gesturing toward a black leather chair set in front of a massive desk, the nurse assured Joan the doctor would be right along.

Dr. Johnson entered the room as his personable self, but when he folded his hands on the green blotter his eyes tightened. He took a deep breath, and said, “Joan, I’m sorry Dave couldn’t be here, but this can’t wait. I have to tell you your test results came back and . . .”

On the drive home, the only words she could remember were, “If we can get hold of this now, you have plenty of quality years ahead of you.” How could that be? I feel fine.

A tearful conversation with her husband Dave when he returned from his trip followed by a three-way discussion with Dr. Johnson brought clarity. The ongoing stress of her busy lifestyle had taken a toll on Joan’s body. Immediate corrective action was recommended to stabilize her overall health.

Dave and Joan went through her schedule and cut back all but essential responsibilities. Her symptoms improved somewhat, but Dr. Johnson was not satisfied. “You’re getting more sleep and regular exercise, but there’s still a harmful level of tension. Can you pinpoint the cause?”

His question drove Joan to the inner courts of heaven. LORD, please reveal the problem. I want … I need to rest in Your peace. Thank You for Your grace. Amen

God granted her request in the days and weeks ahead, bringing her to a fresh understanding of His priorities. The key element was Holy Spirit’s whispers through two main references to convince her that leaving herself at the bottom of every list was not the Father’s design.

With support from Dave, Joan began to exercise biblical self-care. Embracing her identity as a cherished child of the Risen Savior relaxed her soul. The inner transition carried peace filled her life with peace and blessed those around her.  The transformation took mental and emotional effort, but a year later Dr. Johnson gave her two thumbs up.

 Each of you should look not only to your own interest, but also to the interests of others (Philippians 2:4).*emphasis mine

Love your neighbor as yourself. (Leviticus 19:18; Matthew 19:19, 22:39; Mark 12:31,33; Luke 10:27; Romans 13:19; Galatians 5:14; James 2:8).

Are your days regularly over-the-top busy?

Could it be time to consider your priorities in light of these verses?

About the Author:

Sandra Allen Lovelace is a continuing missionary, a pastor’s wife emeritus, and a homeschool pioneer. She’s an award-winning speaker and author, and a sought-after mentor. Sandra writes for a number of publications and has two manuscripts underway, Wallflower Women and Naomi. She enjoys hiking with a camera in her hand, best done on an international adventure. Sandra and her husband Curt are transitioning to South Carolina.

Get to know Sandra at her website, http://sandraallenlovelace.com/

You can also connect with Sandra on Facebook. If you contact her at Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, or Google+ she’ll be delighted by a reason to practice.

Tell Yourself the Truth

Her dearest friend was away the morning she found out. The information halted her breath and drove Judy to her knees. When she could move, she shut off her cell phone and left it on the floor. The patchwork quilt cocooned her on the tan corduroy loveseat. She wept as she realized the details were too deep and personal to share with anyone.

By the time the afternoon shadows lengthened, the crisis dominated her mind and heart. She rose and fumbled through dinner preparations, forgetting to add tuna to the casserole. Dread about how she ought to respond settled over her as she ladled out the soup. The brave front she adopted left her family unaware of her dilemma. She excused the children from clean up, saying it was her turn.

Have you been isolated by events or emotions on occasion? Or do you keep your own counsel by habit?  

Either way, in reality we’re never truly alone. We can turn to God at any moment. But sometimes the human condition can make our heads feel like an MRI scanner. Thoughts bounce and bang ominously as they repeat past messages, conjure odd ideas, evoke wild emotions. Even devoted believers fall into this pit. There is an escape route.

1. Listen to the rebounding clamor and write down what you hear.

2. Read the comments aloud to engage the objective side of your brain.

Would you call a friend one of those names? Refuse to say it to yourself.

Does that evaluation or plan make sense? Double-check the facts.

Is the fear, anger, or pain out of balance? Verify their sources.

3. Research what God says about and to you, and write it down.

Are you yearning to be valued or belong, to dwell in a place of security?

Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine (Isaiah 43:1).

Is the constant barrage wearing you down, and the turmoil stealing your peace?

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:2).

4. Rephrase His Truth as godly self-talk, not I-centered statements.

“Judy, you are redeemed. You belong to God.”

“Judy, soak your mind in God’s Word. You will be revived.”

These strategies are tools to uncover our human frailties and restore our confidence in who we are in Christ. As we implement them in obedience, we build our defense system and promote our peace.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).

About the Author:

Sandra Allen Lovelace is a continuing missionary, a pastor’s wife emeritus, and a homeschool pioneer. She’s a well-respected speaker and author known for her transparency, warmth, and humor. Sandra has two manuscripts underway, Wallflower Women and Naomi. She enjoys hiking with a camera in her hand, best done on an international adventure. Sandra and her husband Curt are transitioning to South Carolina.

Get to know Sandra at her website, http://sandraallenlovelace.com/

You can also connect with Sandra on Facebook. If you contact her at Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, or Google+ she’ll be delighted by a reason to practice.

Rest and Trust

Racing thoughts spilled over the rim of Nicole’s mind. The annual ladies retreat was only a week away and the musician was suddenly unavailable. Her two teenagers were getting out of hand. Prayer meeting was in an hour and dinner wasn’t near ready. She dropped the vegetables on the counter and pulled out the cutting board.

Grateful the church was only ten minutes away, she considered other ingredients on hand to throw into a summer salad she could call dinner. The leftover chicken would add protein. Fresh pecans would delight her husband. And she was pretty sure there was a bottle of everybody’s favorite dressing in the fridge. It just might work.

Her hands flew as she started chopping. Clack, clack, clack. The knife’s rhythm somehow calmed her breathing. By the time she broke open the bell pepper and rinsed it, she was absorbed in the task. Her palm pressed into the handle as she sliced through the red vegetable’s skin. Bite-size pieces materialized.

She didn’t notice the blood until she rested the onion on the board. Dropping the knife, she reached across and grabbed at her injured thumb. Exerting pressure to close the wound, she stepped to the sink and pushed at the faucet with her elbow. The scarlet stream sent balls of light floating before her eyes. Her forearms caught her body weight against the counter’s edge. What now?

Once her head cleared Nicole inspected the injury and decided to treat it herself. While she alternated between applying pressure and wrapping gauze around the gash she turned to the Lord for solutions to her dilemma. Surely He created her for more than the incessant pressure that drove her.

She called her daughter to come finish the salad. When her son appeared to announce his hunger, she had him set the table. What would happen if I took on less?

They joined hands as her husband prayed. “Eat up, kids. We don’t want to be late.” The ping of forks on porcelain kept a bustling pace.

“Jeff, my hand is sore. I think I’ll stay home.” Nicole paused to check his reaction.

“That sounds like a good idea. Are you sure you’ll be all right by yourself? Caroline can stay with you.” Anxiety laced his words. “Can I pick up anything for you at the store?”

She closed her eyes as she took a cleansing breath. “No, dear. I’ll be fine.” Concern left his face and teased out a smile on hers. “Would you mind asking Joan Bennet to find a replacement musician for the retreat? I can’t think of anyone.”

“Sure. I’ll be happy to take care of that. Joan’s got connections. I’m sure she’ll find someone. Don’t worry.” He wiped his mouth with the checkered napkin. “Okay, kids. Let’s go.”

Peace I [Jesus] leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid (John 14:27).

Brief Bio

Sandra Allen Lovelace is a continuing missionary, a pastor’s wife emeritus, and a homeschool pioneer. She’s a well-respected speaker and author known for her candor and warmth. Sandra’s current manuscript invites wallflower women to enjoy the life God created them to live. She enjoys hiking with a camera in her hand, best done on an international adventure. Sandra and her husband Curt are transitioning to South Carolina.

Get to know Sandra at her website, http://sandraallenlovelace.com/

You can also connect with Sandra on Facebook. If you contact her at Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, or Google+ she’ll be delighted by a reason to practice.

I was Miss Fix-It

“I’ll be right there.”

The Lord has crossed my path across those of countless women. One characteristic we all have in common is wanting to fix things. We do everything we can to keep our homes or offices running smoothly. It’s our fondest hope for those around us to get along so we oversee their lives. Some of us even work on appliances and vehicles that won’t run.

We come by that trait honestly. After all, God created woman to benefit the man who was alone. They made a team until Genesis 3 happened and the Fall damaged every aspect of creation. Who could blame us if we get carried away? Sometimes especially when we minister.

“I can take care of that for you.”

The idea never crossed my pastor’s wife mind. It’s been six years since my time in direct ministry, and I served from the pews for ten years before Curt was ordained. Regular attendance is reacquainting me with the other side of the pulpit, so to speak. And there’s a fresh perspective dawning that bears consideration.

It seems that during the time I lived with the Lord’s servant, I have forgotten a detail or two. At least that possibility struck me in a phone conversation. Jane* is a dear friend who’s a seasoned pastor’s wife. We were catching up on each other’s lives when she asked if Curt was still in Maine. When I said he was, she asked how we were doing. I assured her we were fine except for him finding a job.

Jane spent the next twenty minutes giving suggestion after suggestion of what Curt could do, should do to join me. At first I tried to explain why some of her ideas weren’t feasible, but it didn’t slow her down. It was when she started quoting Scripture and implying we were in sin because we weren’t together that I paused the conversation.

“Are you sure there isn’t anything else I can do?”

I explained our surprise over the delay and our confidence that God had a plan. Our conversation ended shortly thereafter. I can’t help but turn back the clock and wonder if I respond in similar ways. Do I evaluate anyone’s situation without knowing all the facts, and judge them? Do I find anyone’s circumstances uncomfortable and try to get them to match my preference so my feelings can settle? I have to say, “Probably.”

With a humble and contrite heart, I put Miss Fix-it out of her misery. I’m grateful for the security of His forgiveness, but my confession feels a bit paltry. Now I ponder much longer with the Lord before opening my mouth. I pray my repentance brings glory to His Name.

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, for through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. Romans 8:1-2 NIV1984

*name and nuances changed for privacy

About the Author:

Sandra Allen Lovelace is a continuing missionary, a pastor’s wife emeritus, and a homeschool pioneer. She’s a well-respected speaker and author known for her candor and warmth. Sandra’s current manuscript invites wallflower women to enjoy the life God created them to live. She enjoys hiking with a camera in her hand, best done on an international adventure. Sandra and her husband Curt are transitioning to South Carolina.

Get to know Sandra at her website, http://sandraallenlovelace.com/

You can also connect with Sandra on Facebook. If you contact her at Twitter, LinkedIn, or Google+ she’ll be delighted by a reason to practice.

Just a Touch

There are seasons in the Christian life, and perhaps especially in frontline service, when the path we walk darkens. We find ourselves surrounded by pain or grief, facing burdensome assignments or insurmountable obstacles. The air we breathe reeks of danger and fear … worsened by silence from heaven, the sense we’re alone. All alone.

God promises to be with us always, but sometimes we forget. Thankfully He floods our lives with reminders of His presence.

I learned the value of training my spiritual eyes from Edith Schaeffer, wife of Dr. Francis Schaeffer. Her weekly Bible studies during my years at L’Abri unveiled a fresh perspective. She wove observations of every day sights and situations we tend to overlook into illustrations of God’s hand at work in the world.* Her teaching rivaled the expertise of the miller’s daughter in Rumplestiltskin who spun straw into gold.

Developing my focusing skills bore fruit when I was recovering from hip replacement surgery. The simple task of taking a shower morphed into a prisoner of war experience—small enclosure, drumming water, complete isolation, imminent danger. My cruel captor was the fear of falling, beating me to remain upright when I wanted to hunch in a corner. Darkness like a black bag over my head disoriented me as I clenched my eyes against stinging shampoo. Yet I stood and endured.

In one particular torture session I felt myself tilting sideways and panic surged. My hand shot out and struck the white tiles. No handhold to grasp, but the wall held firm. I leaned into the support and gulped at the security I found. My pulse settled and peace penetrated. I opened my eyes and stood erect. A breath or two and I took hold of the back brush, returning to my mission. Occasionally I poked out my elbow to confirm rescue was less than an arm’s length away.

And so it is with the pilgrim journey in a fallen world. We find ourselves in shadowed valleys, feeling overcome by what’s behind, beside, or before us. Whether in a local church or on the mission field the LORD is our all-sufficient Sovereign, more secure than any vertical upright. He’s the ever-present promise-keeper who rescues and loves on those He calls His own.

Let me encourage you. The next time you find yourself in a tight spot, battered and nearly broken, remember God is closer than your tub surround. You don’t have to open your eyes to find Him. Slip out your hand and lean into His strength. Draw peace from His presence. He’s right there.

“Never will I Ieave you; never will I forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6, Hebrews 13:5 NIV1984

*A Way of Seeing, by Edith Schaeffer, is a collection of sixty essays with fresh insights on biblical Truth.

About the Author

Sandra Allen Lovelace is a continuing missionary, a pastor’s wife emeritus, and a homeschool pioneer. She’s a well-respected speaker and author known for her candor and warmth. Sandra’s current manuscript invites wallflower women to reach for the life God intends them to live. She enjoys hiking with a camera in her hand, best done on an international adventure. Sandra and her husband Curt are transitioning to South Carolina.

Get to know Sandra at her website, http://sandraallenlovelace.com/

You can also connect with Sandra on Facebook. If you contact her at Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, or Instagram she’ll be delighted with a reason to practice.

Authenticity and Some Good Advice: An Interview with Sandra Allen Lovelace

Her eyes were bright and her smile contagious, but it was her spirit—something in the set of her backbone and the confident lift of her chin—that drew the attention of everyone at the table. If it wasn’t for Facebook, I wouldn’t have known she was the same woman I’d met two years earlier. After one of those lunches where you forget to eat, I knew I had to share her story with you!

Sandra Allen Lovelace grew up on the coast of Connecticut. Forty-eight years ago, she met and married her husband, Curt, in college. For thirty years, the Lovelaces served in paid pastoral ministry. In the early years, their isolated, international locations meant Sandra didn’t have encouragement from other ministry wives, so she had to figure things out on her own.

I asked Sandra about her calling alongside her husband’s paid ministry, and I think you’ll appreciate her be-yourself attitude. She explained,

We did our best to help others realize I was Curt’s wife and not a co-pastor. At the same time, I saw my responsibility as his wife to come along side and support him in any way I could. Making our home a place he could find peace and harmony was at the top of the list. After that came the task of teaching and training our two children. However, I found myself contributing a fair amount of hands-on participation to his ministry—regular hospitality, attention to newcomers, ladies Bible studies and retreats, curriculum for children’s ministry, cleaning and reorganizing his office and storage areas. There were limits though. I don’t play piano and I’ve been known to forget to add the tuna to a tuna noodle casserole. I never taught Sunday School and only provided refreshments for VBS. Organizing typical ministries, such as meals to shut-ins or secret sisters wasn’t my thing.

Some challenges are unique to minister’s wives. Like many of us, Sandra struggled with the impossible task of trying to please everyone in the church. Looking back on those years, she advises us, “No matter what’s going on around you, remember your life is lived before an audience of One. And by His all-sufficient grace, it’s the condition of your heart He values.” She turned to Romans:

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death."

 -Romans 8:1-2 NIV

Sandra wants you to know she wasn’t the “super saint” people thought her to be while she served beside her husband all those years. And being a pastor’s wife didn’t turn her into a saint either. (I think we can all agree with that for ourselves, too.) She says, “I’m merely an everyday pilgrim along with my brothers and sisters. I make my way with the same Spirit all believers share.” It’s the Spirit Paul described to Timothy:

"For the spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline."

  -2 Timothy 1:7 NIV

She concludes, “What He does for me He can and will do for anyone who comes with a confessing heart.”

When Curt retired, Sandra had to redefine her calling and untangle her role in the church (pastor’s wife) from her role in her family (Curt’s wife). She didn’t retire from being his wife! At about the same time, God began to work in Sandra’s heart in a fresh way. Here’s how she describes it:

My New Look is the outward expression of the recovery God has been granting me. I cried out to Him in desperation when I realized I was a wallflower woman. While the lives of everyone around me benefited from my contributions, I was trapped flat in the wallpaper. There was so much more I wanted to do, felt gifted to pursue. The first hint God might have created me for more than I knew came at a retreat where my true and quirky self was accepted and celebrated. Since then it’s been a thrilling adventure of getting to know the One who calls me the apple of His eye. I’m writing a book about the process to encourage and guide other wallflower women to reach for the life God created them to live.

That straight back and confident chin I first noticed? In Sandra, I found a woman fully enjoying who God created her to be, delighting in her new-found freedom as a daughter of the King, and digging more deeply into God’s purpose and calling than the “wallflower woman” ever could. And that’s attractive.

You’ll get to know much more about Sandra soon because she’s a new columnist for Pastor’s Wives! Give her a big welcome here, and be sure to leave a comment for me or Sandra if this brief interview blessed you.

#PastorsWives #Interview: Your life is lived before an audience of one. @pwconnect @SandraALovelace @Carole_Sparks (click to tweet)

Question for reflection: It always helps our perspective when we verbalize what we’ve learned from our experiences. Even if you’ve been in ministry for only a few years, what’s your best advice for a new pastor’s wife? Feel free to share that advice in the comments below.

About the Author:

Carole Sparks is passionate about God’s Word—about how it can change our everyday lives! After years of globetrotting, she now lives, learns, and loves (plus a good bit of writing) in the hills of East Tennessee. Connect with Carole through her website, http://carolesparks.com or her blog, http://notaboutme1151.wordpress.com.

You can also find Carole on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.