by Nan Jones
"For God is not unjust so as to forget your work and the love which you have shown for His name in ministering to [the needs of] the saints (God’s people), as you do. And we desire for each one of you to show the same diligence [all the way through] so as to realize and enjoy the full assurance of hope until the end, so that you will not be [spiritually] sluggish, but [will instead be] imitators of those who through faith [lean on God with absolute trust and confidence in Him and in His power] and by patient endurance [even when suffering] are [now] inheriting the promises." ~ Hebrews 6:10-12, AMP
I was done. Finished. There was no way I was going to walk back into that church again and face those … those people. Not after that business meeting. They were cruel and heartless and had no respect for my man—their pastor.
I was done.
I fumed and fussed, whined and complained to nobody but the mirror. That was my safe place—behind closed doors in the bathroom. I could fuss at that mirror all day long, and although I didn't get any sympathy, I didn't get any backtalk either. I could take off my happy mask and just be me—a woman who loved the Lord, wanted to lead others to His love, wanted to undergird my husband, and tried really hard to do and be the best pastor's wife I could be.
But sometimes I got hurt.
Many times I felt anger and betrayal.
And sometimes I just needed to stomp my feet and shout ugliness at that mirror!
But then God, in His infinite wisdom and mercy would come to me and whisper to my wounded heart. He would tell me to come and reason together with Him. He reminded me who I am to Him—His daughter, His servant, His beloved.
And then He reminded me to forgive those people for they knew not what they were doing.
Um … excuse me Lord? They know perfectly well what they are doing!
No, Nan, not really. You are not battling with flesh and blood, but with principalities of darkness. The people wanting to halt My work through the man of God I've sent them do not have the spiritual maturity to see the spiritual battle. You're right, some don't care and I'll take care of them, but most don't understand what they are doing. You must forgive them and stay the course.
But what if I don't want to?
Then you will lose the battle and Satan will gain ground in this church.
I had a lot of soul searching to do. Dying to self is no fun, is it? The need to thrust out our chest and boast that we are right and they are wrong is horrid. Us versus them. Control people versus Holy Spirit people. Oy!
But all the people are God's people—the flock He has chosen for you and your husband to shepherd.
Even the ones who are ornery and self-righteous. Yes, even those.
He loves them too.
Go in God's strength. His eyes roam to and fro above the earth searching for those who are committed to Him who need to be encouraged. How beautiful is that?
Stay the course. If God be for you, and He is, then who can dare to be against you?
About the Author:
Nan Jones is an author/speaker who uses the words of her heart to assist fellow Christians in discovering the Presence of God in their darkest hour. She has been published in several anthologies as well as the online inspirational sites Christian Devotions, and Inspire a Fire where she is a monthly contributor. She is also a monthly contributor to PW Connections, a blog and forum to encourage pastors' wives. Nan has had the honor of being featured as a guest blogger on several sites. She is thrilled to announce her debut book, The Perils of a Pastor's Wife released June 30, 2015 by Lighthouse Publishing of the Carolinas. This memoir was a 2016 Selah finalist. When Nan isn't writing, she enjoys leading prayer retreats, bible studies or sharing God’s love as keynote speaker for special events. She is becoming known by her brand: "Even so, I walk in the Presence of the Lord" as she teaches her audience to go beyond the veil to find God's Presence. You may visit Nan at her website: www.NanJones.com. Nan has also created a facebook community page, Seeing Beyond The Veil, to provide a place for folks to go and get away from the chaos for a few moments and focus on Jesus through scripture, worship, testimony, and inspirational quotes. For personal communication you may email Nan at email@example.com
The Perils of a Pastor's Wife is available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and LPC Bookstore