PW Connect (www.pastorswives.com) is the sister blog of Pastors' Wives Thriving in the Fishbowl's website & message board. We support, encourage, and nurture ministry wives. Our contributors have experienced the fishbowl of ministry life firsthand, and we're here to come alongside you in all the joys and tears.

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Showing posts with label ask a pw. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ask a pw. Show all posts

09 November

Ask A PW: Little Lessons for Little Boys

This one's from me:

   Q. We have a young mom bringing her little boys to our Wednesday evening gathering. We have a meal and then break up into missions groups where we learn about missionaries and work on missions projects.

Having been a young mom once myself, I'm trying to do everything I can to help make it a positive experience. Many of you can probably relate to the frustration of coming in to your small church and being isolated from everyone else while you watch your own children in the nursery, so I do my best to make sure that doesn't happen to our young moms.

The boys finish eating early, so I end up starting class for them early and engaging them for about 20 minutes, until their regular teacher is able to make it. Then, I switch gears to my class.

I've generally been finding some little thing for them to color or craft. Last Wednesday, I had some extra little bags and so I let them make some paper bag puppets -- they made chickens and then did a little puppet show (complete with translation, lol). Anyway, that appealed to some, but not all of the boys, aged 3-Kindergarten. So, my question is this:

Do you have any ideas or resource suggestions I might be able to use that would engage as many of the little boys as possible? It'd be really cool if it would be somehow missions- oriented, but it doesn't necessarily have to be...

Please let me know if you have any thoughts or ideas!

 Dear PW Friend, 

Since you are me, I look forward to hearing suggestions from others!


08 February

A Pastor's Wife Asks: How Do I Connect With Other Pastors' Wives on Your Site??

From the inbox:
   Q. I'm not really sure what I signed up for, I still feel pretty ignorant about this blogging "dealie" LOL! But I'm up for connecting.

Signed, (a friend on facebook)
Note: If you're a pastor's wife who has a question you'd like answered here, e-mail us (askapw at pastorswivesconnection.com).

Dear PW Friend, 

I'm so glad you asked! I didn't have a question in the mailbox to answer this week. But more importantly, if you're confused, I'm sure many others are confused as well.

The purpose of this blog is to help you connect with other pw bloggers, while also allowing other pastors' wives who may not have a blog to interact with our blogging community. Here's a quick list of how to receive the most benefit from our network.

How to connect with other pastor's wife bloggers

  1. Help another pastor's wife.

    You don't need a blog to participate. Simply look through the Ask a PW section and comment to share your encouragement and expertise. Or submit your own question to the community and check back for replies.
  2. Use our blogroll to find other pastors' wives.

    Click here for a list of all pastors' wives, or peruse the latest updates in the sidebar. Encourage another pastor's wife with your comments, likes, etc. 
  3. Write a guest post.

    Have something on your heart you'd like to share with other pastors' wives? Submit your material to us. (Again, it's not necessary to have a personal blog to participate.) See our contributor guidelines for more information.
  4. Watch for the Weekly PW Blog Round-Up.

    Each week, I highlight recent posts from our pw community that I believe will be of interest to other pastors' wives. It may be a post about women, a neat craft, an insight on a Bible passage, a book/product review, or just a general thought about the life of a pastor's family.
  5. Let me interview you and feature your blog.

    Each week I'll also feature a new pastor's wife we can all get to know. We'll pray for you all week, too, because we're cool like that! (See this post for more details.)
  6. Add your blog to our list.

    Help other pastors' wives find your blog. As our site grows, we'll subdivide as necessary; so please note senior pastor's wife, youth pastor's wife, missionary/missionary's wife, etc. and whether your blog is focused in on a single topic.
  7. Stay in touch!

    We have several options, and I recommend choosing more than one so you don't miss out on any new features. Also important! Word on the web is that google friend connect is being phased out. At the very least, it is being discontinued for all non-blogger blogs beginning March 1st, 2012. While "follow" is an easy way to keep up with a blog, it appears that google may be transitioning this service to google plus, so we're already there, even though it's quite lonely over there at the moment!
  8. Ask!

    Have I missed anything? Still confused? Ask away, and I'll do my best to answer.


31 January

A Pastor's Wife Asks: Square Peg, Round Hole?

From the inbox:
   Q. How does one overcome the "don't fits"? And yet still feel wanted or not alone while trying to find my place of acceptance just as i am?

Signed, Square Peg, Round Hole 
Note: If you're a pastor's wife who has a question you'd like answered here, please contact us.

Dear Sqare Peg, 

I'm so glad you contacted us. I want to first give you a warm welcome. I wish you could feel the (((hugs))). You're accepted here. You're not alone.

From your post, I gather that you don't fit what many may regard as a typical pw mold. Maybe you don't ____________  like the last pastor's wife did; nor have a gifting in _________________, like other pastors' wives you know. Maybe you don't feel called to organize certain ministries that others may presume all pastors' wives are called to do.

Or maybe your personality is just different than the last pastor's wife.

Am I in the ballpark yet?

If so, you're among good company, as many of us would probably say we don't fit the mold either. The shame is that there's ever been a suggestion that a mold exists.

I don't believe God asks a pastor's wife to set aside the unique talents and passions she may have, simply because her husband is now a pastor.

When God called Jeremiah, He said, "Before I made you in your mother's womb, I chose you. Before you were born, I set you apart for a special work." (1:5, NCV)

You and I may not be called as a prophet to the nations, but God knew us just as well. He knew our personalities. He gave us our talents. He created us purposefully, knowing His plans for us -- even knowing that one day we would marry a pastor.

(Find The Only Acceptance That Matters)
My advice to you is first, look to Jesus for your acceptance, and remain secure in God alone. He made you, after all, and He knew what He was doing! Resist that urge to let anyone else define you or determine your worth.

In Matthew 11, He invites us,
"Come to me, all of you who are tired and have heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Accept my teachings and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in spirit, and you will find rest for your lives. The burden that I ask you to accept is easy; the load I give you to carry is light." (vv. 28-30, NCV)
There is such freedom in those words!

(Find a Place to Belong)
And secondly, balance that by intentionally finding places where you do fit in. You need a life outside of the church walls. Whether it's a hobby, a passion, or an interest; seek out places where others of like mind are gathering.

Or stretch yourself, go to a community class and learn something new. Meet new people along the way. Don't tell them you're a pastor's wife at first. Let them get to know you outside of their preconceived ideas, before they ask what your husband does for a living.

(Find the Lonely)
And finally, I've noticed that when I am feeling lonely or unaccepted, the best place to start is in looking for others who seem alone or like they're not fitting in either. This has been especially true since we've moved halfway across the country.

At church and even at school assemblies, I look for people whom others seem to be ignoring. They're generally happy that someone cares enough to say, "Hello." We minister to each other as we get to know each other.

And we're in good company, as Jesus did the very same thing.

So celebrate the fact that you don't fit into a cookie cutter mold. Enjoy the freedom it brings. You'll be grateful you did, and the next pastor's wife in that church will certainly thank you.

Blessings to you as you let God mold and shape you instead.


p.s. Are you a square peg, too? Chime in and let our PW know she's not alone. Any other thoughts or advice? Please leave a comment below to help our sister pw out...

24 January

A Pastor's Wife Asks: Moving Cross Country?

Note: If you're a pastor's wife who has a question you'd like answered here, please see our contact page.

From the inbox:
   Q. Hi Everyone! We are moving soon to a different church in a different part of the country. I'm very excited! I would like to hear from other pastors' wives who have moved to a very different area from where they have been before. What recommendations do you have as I begin new relationships and activities?  
Thank you! Linda

Dear Linda, 
First of all, congratulations on the big move! I'm glad to hear you're excited. That enthusiasm will be a close ally for you in the weeks and months ahead -- changes like this are hard, even when they're positive ones.

My advice is to be aggressive in developing relationships and hesitant with your involvement in church activities. That doesn't mean you refuse to lend a hand where it's needed. By all means, pitch in and wash dishes and tables or help organize a short-term project.

But, long-term commitments to a specific ministry within the church? They can wait.

I generally allow myself at least 6 months to become familiar with the new church family and its ministries before taking any plunges. It's a tough adjustment -- a frustrating time when you're itching to use your gifts that suddenly feel so squelched; but oftentimes it is necessary.

I've learned that just because God called me to help with _____ ministry in our previous church, does not automatically mean that He wants me to do the exact same thing at the next one. He may have someone else for that job.

A new assignment generally requires new instructions. Pray, wait, watch, and listen; then listen, watch, wait, and pray some more!

In the meantime, get to know the people around you. Get to know the culture and its nuances. Since you're moving so far away, the people will be very different. You need to spend some time just grasping the social norms of the area, in order to help yourself adjust.

Use that precious free time (that will fade away all-too-quickly) to invite people over for meals and to go places where you'll find people in the community with similar interests. You will cherish those relationships during times when loneliness sets in.

Speaking of loneliness -- think ahead to times when you're most likely to feel isolated. Go ahead and make some tentative plans to be somewhere else on those days with people you enjoy. Start some new traditions. Give yourself something to look forward to, rather than something to dread.

And most of all, take it easy on yourself. Even in the best of situations, you may find yourself in tears at times, wishing you were back home. You may want to journal your thoughts or call a trusted friend -- whatever helps you process through the emotions.

Blessings on your upcoming move.

p.s. Do you have any thoughts for the pastor's wife moving across the country? Any thoughts on the advice already given? Leave a comment below to help a sister pw out...

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