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16 February

The Not-So-Perfect Husband of the Pastor's Wife

Yesterday evening I experienced it yet again. The notion that somehow, because my husband is a pastor, that he can do no wrong.

A silly little exchange took place: At the beginning of the Bible study, a man announced, "I need to sit by my wife so that people don't start wondering about our marriage." He then began to finagle things around so that they could sit together.

With a twinkle in my eye, I quipped jokingly: "I never sit by my husband at Bible study. Do you wonder about our marriage?"

To which he replied, "But that's different, he's a holy man."

"Aaannnndddd.....?" I asked, to the giggles of a few.

Truthfully, I'm flattered. I appreciate the love and respect given to my husband. It surely beats the opposite. Yet, at the same time, I'm a tiny bit troubled.

My husband isn't Jesus. (Pause and think about that!) My earthly husband is not Jesus.

He's a sinner saved by grace, just like the rest of us. He makes mistakes. He forgets things that are important. He's doesn't always have the perfect reply for our children. He still even... (gasp!)... sins!!!!

Ask him! He'll tell you the same thing.

I tried to tell that to a friend I had at a former church. She once told me of her hope that her daughter would marry a pastor. She admired my husband (for better or worse, I guess), and wanted her daughter to marry someone like him.

I tried to tell her that marrying a pastor was not a guarantee of anything, but I didn't really sense that she believed me. I told her I knew plenty of pastors who had lied, cheated, beat their children, or left their wives. But she just had this image in her mind of my husband, and how much better he was than her husband.

Yes, he sins. Do people realize that? Will they become disillusioned if/when they do?

But if I'm honest, sometimes I even forget that my husband is a sinner. Then, I act all surprised when he does exactly that. I get aggravated with God, too, if He doesn't smack him or limit his abilities in sermon-writing or something until he sets everything right with me or whomever.

He's a good guy. Don't get me wrong.

But again, he's not Jesus. And if I can't get that straight at times, I guess it shouldn't surprise me when others struggle with it, too.


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